"I went to Jared"

Sorry to all those who were awaiting my post the past few days, I've been a little busy with the websites and music stuff. Anyways, I definitely have a few random things to rant about. First off, Christmas is right around the corner, and not only does that mean it's Sweater Party time, but it also means that there are a slew of new Christmas commercials on TV. Each year, I have this little thing where I pick my favorite and least favorite commercial, and although there are still 17 days until Christmas, I have already found the winner and loser. I'll start with the loser.

Hands down, it's the Jared commercial. "He went to Jared," yeah that one. I have never heard the same line used in a commerical as many times as this one in this commercial. What's worse is that it is used in several different formats. "He went to Jared?", "He went to Jared.", "He went to Jared!", and of course, "He went to Jared!!!!!!!!!...and many more. And then the clincher...the douche bag at the end looks at the camera and says "I went to Jared." What the hell is that? Who comes up with this? The other guys are getting scolded by their wives for not going to Jared, while the guy that did is praised for doing so. Does this mean that I now feel pressured to go to Jared? No. In fact, I will never go to Jared simply because of this one commercial. Also, why the hell is it called the "Galleria of Jewelry"? Galleria...figures.

Now onto the winner. Without a doubt, it's the Zales commercial. It's the most unrealistic commercial I've seen in a awhile, which is why it's the best. If you haven't seen it, let me explain. It is set inside a mall, and includes two white males walking towards eachother. I'm under the impression that they do not know eachother, but the fact that a high five is exchanged makes me think otherwise, or else why the high five? The reason for the high five is because they both went to Zales and picked up some jewelry for their wives/partners (I only say partners because you never know these days). The best part is that they both have this shit grin on their face like they actually enjoyed their shopping experience. A shit grin like the one in the commercial is usually reserved for after banging your wife, not after buying jewelry for your wife, but since jewelry often leads to banging and the two are directly related, the shit grin is appropriate and is a great use of foreshadowing. So now you ask yourself: How often do you see two guys in a mall exchanging high fives while both carrying a Zales bag? The answer: never. Knowing that this event never actually takes place in real life makes me laugh everytime. Combine this with the foreshadowing, and you have the winner.

Before I end this one, I want to say thanks to everyone who came out last night to watch us play. Also, we have a Christmas show coming up on Dec. 22nd. It's up in Madison at the Klinic on Park St. next to the one and only Rustic Tavern. Bring your friends.